I’ve been someone’s target before and that feeling when I realised it’s happening again was uncomfortable. Someone has taken a dislike to me and they’re not shy about letting me know. I have given the matter much thought. It upset me at first as it’s a person I can’t avoid seeing. Now I’ve come to terms with it and I’ve realised it’s not my stuff.

I have choices and after I apologised twice for something I didn’t say that upset them, they’ve found another reason to hold a grudge. It was only a couple of days ago that I was told exactly what had upset them (words spoken by a tradesman whilst on my property which they overheard), and even then it was indirect – I was told by their partner. I have again given it much thought and decided not to say anything, but now I’ve changed my mind. By saying nothing, my position is unclear. By speaking my mind I risk putting myself in the line of fire but I clarify my intentions and maintain my integrity. Easy!

The trouble is I can prepare and rehearse a short script but in the heat of the moment I crumple and all sorts of unplanned words slip out of my mouth ineloquently. I’m also worried I’ll keep talking and say too much.

Right I’m off for as long a walk as my feet will permit. I’m really looking forward to escaping this uncomfortable environment for a few hours. It’s a new feeling for me, feeling unsafe in my own home, and I really don’t like it.

I’ve been painting a bit more, y’know, crap art, just for fun, and I love the feeling of the brush in my hand and on the paper. Try painting your emotions, it’s great! (No photo!)

I’m having a creative Saturday. After I get back I’m baking a cake

and writing a letter, then either a movie or some reading. Sheer joy!