It’s Good Friday. Today would have been Dad’s 94th birthday. I felt happy remembering him this morning. It’s a bittersweet joy tinged with sorrow and loss (his and mine), wondering how he would have liked to celebrate his birthday. The emptiness can feel amplified on days like today. Emotions are heightened. It can be an opportunity for healing if I allow the feelings to flow to the surface.

I’m relieved I have a wedding to help shift my focus from potentially maudlin what-ifs to joyous celebratory occasions. I think Dad would have loved hearing me play Bob Marley and the FooFighters. He wouldn’t care what I played so long as it was me enjoying myself. He would have backed my decision to gradually extricate myself from the world of orchestral playing despite the often painful yearning I have for that music. He would have conceded that it was no longer an atmosphere conducive to thriving, simply surviving. He would have been proud of my endeavours to build my own ultra micro business. I think he would always have encouraged me to be unashamedly myself.

I have a tendency to put Dad on a pedestal but he could be bloody annoying too. He could be pedantic and picky. We used to drive him mad leaving our shoes lying around, oblivious of the trip hazard. He had a limp from a stroke he had in his 30’s. His gait was laboured. He was very organised, a bit of a neat freak actually. He ran a tight ship.

It’s Easter weekend too, so quite possibly an emotional double whammy, but I love Easter with all its optimistic symbolism so you know what? I’m going to have a fun playful weekend and I’ll carry his lighthearted sensitive playfulness with me 🥳 but the picky pedant can have the weekend off thanks.

HAPPY EASTER