I feel terrible today. 27/1/25 is my blue Monday. I had a 4 hour fayre yesterday and from the moment I woke, I knew I didn’t want to go. I dragged my heels and everything that could go wrong did, laughably so. I just wanted to stay at home and watch a film safe and warm in my armchair but I’d paid for the fayre.

I went out to get my car. Despite temperatures on the + side, the lane was covered in a fine sheet of slippery ice. It took longer to pack the car. I got grumpier.

I set up. I don’t like the area I usually play in. It’s cold and draughty but it’s a good position as there’s no other way in – people have to walk past me.

I took a small flask of strong coffee, a big flask of vibrantly comforting green tea and a hot water bottle – the ability to warm my hands keeps me playing.

I forgot my playing specs! They’re there on the table ready to go, I just didn’t put them in my bag. Thankfully I had my reading glasses. Better than no specs.

The main room was crammed with exhibitors who had all woken up early and sacrificed their Sunday to try and get some business. I was one of 3 musicians and the only introvert. I’d say there were 50 people who attended. Not 50 couples, 50 individuals. It was pretty depressing.

There were lots of fayres on the same date. That’s how it goes. How does one choose? I like the venue as it’s local and the staff are nice but that doesn’t guarantee me a gig. There was a 90th birthday party in the room opposite where I was playing. The birthday “boy” made a request and I was delighted to play it for him, twice actually, but I silently wished they’d booked me to play during their meal. They got some free live music for their party anyway – maybe next time?

I was tense throughout the 4 hours. Maybe it was one of those days I should’ve listened to the voice that said to stay at home.