I haven’t felt like blogging for some time. I’m doing a lot of personal writing but nothing public. I found it hard to justify writing about my everyday life whilst watching increasing evidence of global collapse in front of my eyes. Crisis after crisis. However I do feel an urge – obey it I must. There’s no writing group for 3 weeks either. My motivation is somewhat selfish – committing to writing a daily blog helps with my literacy, focus, memory and imagination!

I got really stressed last week. I played for a very quiet Fayre and went straight up to North Yorkshire for a wedding the following day. The bride had some really demanding ceremony requests and I got really worked up about those. Although my practice demons proved hard to handle, I was pleased to be pushing myself rather than simply playing the usual requests. I was reminded of how I was when I was doing a lot of orchestral work – I didn’t let it go until it was right. I’ve still got that desire even if my repertoire is a far cry from Wagner and Puccini.

I’ve found the wedding work tiring this year, the driving, setting up, things that wouldn’t have fazed me a couple of years ago. The amp is brilliant and I can play for much longer without fighting to make my harp audible. The extra weight is the only con.

My feet haven’t been well since I bought running shoes online just before going to France. After a long walk along the coast near Marseille I got blisters the size of golf balls on both heels. I’d never seen anything like them. I Compeeded them and kept going during the rest of my trip. My heels subsequently cracked. They got so bad last week that I couldn’t face walking more than a mile. I was heartbroken.

I went for a biomechanical assessment last week. That morning I finally burst into tears after my stretching session when most muscles in my body were throbbing and my feet were incredibly sore. It was such a relief to have a bloody good sob.

The previous week I had a skin and nail appointment. That chiropodist suspected foot psoriasis. I played it down though I was devastated.

The biomechanics chiropodist was kind and extremely thorough. I was told to bring as many pairs of shoes as I wanted (7) and she asked a lot of questions. She examined my feet and said she’d never seen such hyper mobile feet. Oh crap I thought but she reassured me it’s preferable to having arthritic feet. I left with orthotic insoles fitted with metatarsal domes. I could feel them niggling at my neuroma but the effect on my posture was almost instant – no more knee or hip twinges. And thankfully, she doesn’t think it’s foot psoriasis 😃 4.5 miles on Saturday evening were almost comfortable. If I can walk, I can work.

As wedding season drew to a close I decided to complete a thorough health MOT on myself. I want to stay as fit and healthy as possible. I’m not worried about grey hair and wrinkles but I am determined to stay strong, mobile and independent. I went for a DEXA (bone density) scan a couple of weeks ago. Considering the state of Mum’s bones, it’s a wise idea. Results soon. Blood tests all came back normal.

My psoriasis is troublesome. I try to accept it but when the itch is there, it’s all consuming.

You see what I mean? I sound like a whining hypochondriac but from what I gather, it’s quite normal to be preoccupied with health as our bodies need more support as we age.

And then there’s the state of the arts. I mean, WTF is going on? Another orchestra in dire straits, yet I look at social media and every orchestral harpist looks focused, busy with gigs and happy. My brain can’t comprehend this dissonance. To say that the music world is in a precarious position is an understatement.

(This was written before the US elections)

The latest remedy I’m trying for my skin is infra red sauna. I go roughly once a week for an hour. It can get quite intense at the end but I feel cleansed and invigorated afterwards. It’s a dry heat, up to 52 degrees and it seems to penetrate my core. After my first session it felt as though I’d been in a desert for an hour, my body heated from the inside out. I look forward to that hibernation in a hot pinewood cocoon. Sometimes I zone out and the hour flies by. Other times I read. There’s no difference to my skin yet but there are a few more things I’d like to try before calling it quits.