I’ve been feeling anxious since just after 1pm. Woke early, 4.45 but decided to sleep some more as I had quite a late solsticey night and it’s upper body exercise day, so practice first. Did some good work, significantly better than the past couple of days with improved focus. Airplane mode is a godsend but I need to reinforce my online and tech boundaries. I think I went back online after an hour. I wonder why. Maybe it’s loneliness/isolation/the need to reassure myself that other people exist out there. I also don’t want to miss anything! Not that there are that many emails thank goodness. When I read an email which requires action, my mind goes 🤯 A few hours later, I can deal with it logically and easily.

I know I’m grumpy today. I finished practice at 12.15 and went out in the garden for 10 minutes to clear my head and get some sun before lunch. My lovely neighbour and her equally lovely dog were out there, both looking happy to see me. Nice that isn’t it? Except I wanted some peace and quiet and not a conversation. She repeated what she’d told me on Tuesday (maybe she’s menopausal too?) about her dog excelling at a show and having the s**s really badly for 2 days. TMI. I tried to muster some enthusiasm and nodded and shook my head, hopefully at appropriate times, but the moment of peace and mind calming I wanted was gone so I politely made my excuses and said I was famished. In an effort to make her laugh and not feel abandoned (!!) I told her I was having tuna, tomatoes and toast, which was true. Cucumber, coriander and… Chicken! she said helpfully. I felt like saying ch words don’t count but thought it would be churlish of me so I let her have that one. I also shared that I have days of eating foods of certain colours. Red is a favourite day. I didn’t tell her I sometimes pretend I’m going to Thailand/France/Italy (delete as appropriate) for the evening.